Chapter 9

Friends (new and old)

          “I’m really disappointed,” said Dan.  “I haven’t heard a word from Dave since we came back.  He agreed to email me, and he hasn’t sent even one email.”

          “Have you emailed him?” asked Esther.

          “Of course,” said Dan.  “I sent him one just a week after we arrived.  He never replied.”

          “Just one?” asked Esther.  “That one may have never gotten to him, or his reply may not have gotten to you.  I’d try again.  But that may not work either.  Boys don’t write as much as girls do.”

          “You can say that again,” said Dan.  “Do you and Susan use a chat room?”

          “That didn’t work out either,” said Esther.  “With the time differences we have between the continents, it was just too hard for us to both be online at the same time.  We do email each other every week or two, and that’s good.”

          Paul said, “Pete and I thought we would talk on the phone.  That hasn’t happened either.  I haven’t tried to call him.  I don’t know if he has tried to call me or not.”

          Ruth added, “Rachel and I haven’t written any letters either.  She did send me a birthday card last week, so I did hear something from her.

          Mom said, “Some people are able to keep a relationship going when they are far apart.  But most people don’t.  It’s just too hard when you don’t see each other often.

          “It isn’t that you don’t like each other.  It’s just that when you’re apart, you begin to become better friends of the people who are right there with you.  Dave, Susan, Pete, and Rachel are probably making closer friends with people there in our host country.”

          “I wish that was happening here,” said Dan.  “I say ‘Hi’ to a couple of guys here on the street, but I don’t have any real friends.  I miss Dave.”

          “Didn’t I see you talking with Pat who lives in the next block?” asked Esther.

          “Yes, I was,” said Dan.  “He doesn’t seem to have any friends, and he acted like he would like to be my friend.”

          “He’s just weird!” said Esther.  “He always dresses in black, paints his fingernails black, and has tattoos all over.  I’m kind of afraid of him myself.”

          “But he seems so alone,” said Dan.  “Shouldn’t we be friends with people who don’t have friends?”

          Mom broke in, “That’s very kind of you, Dan.  But Esther has a point.  You want to be friendly to him, but probably not his close friend.  If others don’t like him, they may not like you either.  Being his friend may make it very hard for you to make other friends.”

          “I met a boy named John in Sunday school last week in church,” said Paul.  “I’d like to get to know him better.”

          “Well, I met John’s parents while we were there,” said Mom.  “Would you like to have John over to play some evening?”

          “That sounds good to me,” answered Paul.  “How about Thursday?” 

          “I’ll call his mother this afternoon,” said Mom.

          “I like emails from Susan, but it just isn’t the same as talking to someone.  Lydia who lives three houses down the street asked if I could come to a sleep-over next week.  Can I go, Mom?”

          “Dad and I need to meet Lydia’s family before you do that,” said Mom.  We’ll try to get over to see them in the next day or two.”

          Ruth said, “I just haven’t found anyone to be a friend at all.  There is no one on our block my age, and everyone at church has their own best friends.  Where can I find friends?”

          Mom said, “When school starts in a few weeks, you’ll meet lots of kids your age.  Then it won’t be a problem.

          “Until then, we’ll make it a point to go to the park a couple days each week to see if we can meet some girls your age,” said Mom.

          Dad said, “There are other places to meet children too.  You can go to Girl Scouts, Girls Clubs, and 4-H.”

          Paul said, “I don’t want to go to those girl things.”

          “Of course, there are Boy Scouts and Boys Clubs,” said Dad.

          Esther said, “Sometimes I feel like I’m different from the kids here.  It’s like I don’t think the way they do.”

          “You’re right.  You don’t,” said Dad.  “People who have grown up in two or more cultures don’t think like those who have lived in only one.  Those who have grown up in only one don’t understand.”

          “How will I know who will understand?” asked Esther.

          Mom said, “Remember at the end of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe of The Chronicles of Narnia.  When Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy returned from Narnia, the professor told them not to talk about it too much.  He said, ‘And don’t mention it to anyone else unless you find that they’ve had adventures of the same sort themselves.  What’s that?  How will you know? Oh, you’ll know all right.  Odd things they say—even their looks—will let the secret out.  Keep your eyes open.’

          “People who have grown up between cultures just know others who are also TCKs by the way they think and talk.”

Things to do and think about

1.  Each column in the following word find has a place you can find a friend.  For example, reading from the bottom, the first column is Sunday school.  Find the other ten. 

2. Use the following code to find some activities you can do to make friends.

(1).

(2).

(3).

(4).

(5).

(6).

(7).