Chapter 2

Daniel & Esther: Teenagers and TCKs (but not Adolescents)

            Living 500 or 600 years before Mary and Peter, Daniel and Esther were also teenagers, but they were third culture kids (TCKs) as well.  Of course, they were 13, 14, …, 18, and 19 years of age, so they were teenagers.  In addition, during their developing years they lived at least part of the time in a culture other than that of their parents. 

Daniel

Daniel became a TCK while still in school, probably as a teenager.  He became a TCK when he went to boarding school in a neighboring country.  Like most TCKs Daniel became one not by choice, but through decisions made by others.  In Daniel’s case it was the choice of strangers in another country, another culture which had overrun Daniel’s passport country.  The leader there decided to take some of the outstanding young men (including Daniel), educate them, and put them into government service (Daniel 1).  Rather than trying to get into the school, Daniel went unwillingly because of heavy-handed “recruiting” techniques.  He had not asked to go, nor did he want to go, nor did his parents want him there.  Daniel was away from his parents and had no reliable way of keeping in contact with them—no email, no telephones, not even “snail-mail.”  However, he knew that his parents still loved him and were likely praying for him.

            Fortunately, Daniel also found three other guys there from his passport country.  He probably did not know them before they all wound up in school together, but TCKs have a way of finding each other.  Even if they are not from the same country, TCKs have much in common and think alike, having grown up between cultures.  They have even more in common if they have spent time in the same two cultures.  Like many teens, Daniel and his friends had nicknames—but not ones like Spike, Bro, and Boomer.  The dean of students probably thought they would fit in better if they had “local” names, so he gave them the following:  Daniel became Belteshazzar, Hananiah became Shadrach, Mishael became Meshac and Azariah        became Abednego.  As usual, some of the names stuck and others did not.  Daniel’s did not stick (Daniel 1).

Esther

            Esther was similar to Daniel in many ways.  She was a member of the same minority group as Daniel, a group held in captivity.  She lived in the same political situation as Daniel, only years later.  Daniel may have even still been alive, but if so, he was a very old man by the time Esther was brought to the capital city.  She also got caught up in a very sensitive and explosive political situation.  Like Daniel and his friends, she had names from both her passport culture and her host culture.  The name on her passport would have been Hadassah, but she was known in the host culture as Esther, probably from the Babylonian word for goddess, or the Persian word for star (Esther 2).

            Unlike Daniel, Esther did not have the loving support of her parents.  In fact, her parents were dead.  She was an orphan, apparently with no close family members.  When her parents died, it was her cousin Mordecai who took her in and cared for her as if she were his own daughter.  Mordecai was from her passport country, but he was a government official in her host country. Mordecai at least knew of Daniel, and perhaps he knew Daniel personally.  Rather than being brought into the culture as a teenager, Esther was raised in the host culture, probably born while her parents were living there (Esther 2).

            Esther was really attractive—the Bible says she “was lovely in form and features.”  She had a beautiful face and a good figure.  When she walked down the street or into a room, all eyes, especially those of the men, were on her.  However, by order of the king of her host country, Esther suddenly found herself removed from her cousin’s home and living in the palace.  In fact, she was in the king’s harem.  She was brought to the king not because of her ability, but because of her beauty.  Although she was sexually attractive, Esther was not promiscuous.  She was still a virgin, and everyone knew it (Esther 2). 

What is a TCK?

            Third Culture Kids (TCKs) are people who have spent considerable time during their developmental years living in at least one culture other than that of their parents.  They assimilate elements from two or more cultures; however, they do not feel like they fully fit into any of those cultures.  They feel like they belong with other TCKs who have had the same experience of growing up between worlds.

• Becoming TCKs.  People may become TCKs because their parents serve as missionaries, serve in the military, serve in the diplomatic corps, live overseas to do business, and so forth.  They may become TCKs because they chose to become exchange students themselves.  The reason for their living in the other culture makes no difference, but the depth of their immersion does.  If they just live in a compound, on a base, or on embassy row, they may be there for years and not absorb parts of the host culture because they interact only with people of their passport culture.  However, they may be there only a few months living with a family and become TCKs because they are immersed deeply in the culture.
• Shared Characteristics.  Although TCKs do not live as a group, they share similar values, beliefs, and ways of thinking.  So they immediately recognize other TCKs when they meet and have serious conversations.  I overheard three or four in conversation in which one said, “She may have lived in Africa for a year, but she’s not a TCK—she doesn’t think like one.”  The others all agreed.  It makes no difference if one is from North America living in Asia, another from South America living in Europe, and yet another from Australia living in Africa—they all develop similar basic ways of thinking and immediately recognize each other.
• Time.  If the difference is not just living in another culture, what is the crucial difference?  Time in the host culture is necessary, but it cannot be specified in terms of weeks, months, or years.  Some become TCKs in a few months; others may live in that culture several years and never become TCKs.  The crucial thing is that the person gets beyond “vacation mode” (functioning as an observer) and into “living mode” (functioning as a part of the culture).  Living in her host culture with her guardian working in the government, Esther certainly assimilated the culture around her.  Daniel arrived in his host culture much later in life, but the Bible specifies that he studied the language and literature of his host culture and was specifically preparing for government service there.
• Timing.  Although the time lived in the culture varies, the timing does not.  The time spent in the other culture must be during the developmental years when culture is being internalized, becoming a part of the individual.  This is usually during the first 16 or 18 years of life.  After an entire culture is assimilated, it is very unusual for adults to actually assimilate parts of a different culture.  They can study the new culture, learn many facts about it, and appreciate it; however that culture does not become a part of them personally.  Esther entered her host culture as a small child.  Perhaps she was even born while her parents lived there and never lived in her “passport culture.”  Daniel entered his host culture much later, but while he was still in school.

            Further evidence of their internalizing their host cultures is that both Daniel and Esther had different names given them by people in their two cultures.  Today most people know Daniel by the name given in his passport culture, but they know Esther by the name given in her host culture.  Of course, most people today know Daniel’s three close friends by the names given in their host culture (Shadrach, Meschach and Abednego).  Regardless of which name we know them by, all of them actually had two names reflecting their identities in both cultures.

What can adolescent TCKs do?

            Remember that each generation grows up under different sets of circumstances.  People born about 1925 grew up during the great depression and a world war.  Those experiences left an indelible impression on them.  Those born about 1945 grew up in a time of unparalleled prosperity and the threat of nuclear attack.  Those born about 1965 grew up in a time of a war and changing morality.  You are growing up in a time of great financial uncertainty and the constant threat of terrorism like your parents and grandparents never faced.  Be tolerant of their differences.

            Realize that you are different from you parents in more ways than most other adolescents are different from their parents.  You have not only the generational differences, but also the differences that come from internalizing several cultures.  Read about TCKs.  The best book available on the topic is Third Culture Kids:  The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds by David Pollock and Ruth Van Reken, published jointly by Intercultural Press (www.interculturalpress.com) and Nicholas Brealey Publishing (www.nbrealey-books.com).  It is for sale in many bookstores and online at www.amazon.com and other sites.  This book will help you understand yourself.